The Suite Life

Once the kids are grown and move out of the house, most parents don’t expect to live with them again. But when factors like aging, finances and medical problems arise, some retirees face the decision of finding new living arrangements.

There are numerous options out there: retirement communities, home health care or modular homes built on a relative’s property. Sometimes, though, the happy medium becomes moving in with family. It can be challenging, but it’s doable with the right plan, as Millard and Patsy Morris and their daughter, Carolyn Scherer have learned.

The Morrises had lived in Texas their whole lives and in the same house for 56 years. Four years ago, when Patsy had carotid artery surgery, they agreed to move to Virginia to be closer to Scherer. Their house sold in a week, which Patsy took as a sign that moving was “meant to be.”

They first lived in a retirement community, but decided to move into an apartment for financial reasons. But after both fell and injured themselves, Scherer and her husband Randy decided to move her parents into their home.

“Lots of consideration goes into something like this,” Scherer says. “One of the biggest is your spouse and if they are willing to change their life.”

Randy has been an integral part in making the move a reality. He designed space for the Morrises in the home’s garage. The spacious two-bedroom, one-bath “apartment” shows no evidence of ever being a place to park cars. At 750 square feet, the Morrises’ new home features everything they need for daily life, including a kitchen, sitting area and handicap rails. All of the doorways are wide to accommodate wheelchairs. A door at the back connects their space to the Scherers’ lower-level sitting area, and typically remains shut so the Morrises can maintain their privacy.

“It’s very private and we have plenty of room,” Patsy says. “People say I have a wonderful daughter for doing this for us, but I say we have a good son-in-law too.”

Scherer says as many baby boomers’ parents live longer, arrangements such as this are becoming quite common. She feels fortunate that they were able to give her parents separate living space instead of just a bedroom in their home.

“It’s hard when your parents have been independent for so many years and it’s taken away from them,” she says. “But this is working out well for us. I see being able to take care of them as a gift.”

The family has had open-ended discussions leading up to the move, and even after. Communication is key to making it work, Scherer says.

“Sometimes we have to talk about tough subjects and we have to draw boundaries for what we’re all willing to do,” she says. “I would absolutely encourage anyone to view this as an option.”

While Millard jokes that his daughter moved him on top of a mountain with no way down, he says living in her home is nice and convenient.

“It surprised me when they said they were going to make the garage into an apartment,” he says. “But they did it.”