The story below is from our September/October 2024 issue. For more stories like it, Subscribe Today. Thank you!
Images Courtesy of Nelson Harris
A Roanoke novelty company once caused an international stir with the House of Windsor.
Sometime in the fall of 1959, an American tourist handed a London cabby a book of matches, and the cabby turned them over to a British bobby. The policeman apparently placed the matchbook into the hands of the British Foreign Service, who contacted Buckingham Palace. And that’s how the Great Matchbook Controversy got started.
The royals found little humor in Tip N’ Twinkle’s matchbook cover poking fun at Buckingham Palace. Tip N’ Twinkle was a Roanoke novelty company started by the good-natured Charlie Clark, whose products proved quite popular in the 1950s, ‘60s and ‘70s. The business produced a variety of gag gifts. There were lovely boxes of cloth fig leaves “for the woman who has nothing to wear” and various plaques proclaiming rules for bars, kitchens and offices. Rule No. 5 on the office placard read, “In the event of fire, awaken SLOWLY all sleeping employees and walk down the metal staircase that management will erect after the fire.”
Tip N’ Twinkle offered membership cards to the International Order of the Mafia and published serious, high-brow literature. Colonel J. Beauregard Horsepasture’s Guide Book and Dixie Dictionary afforded those from the “Nawth” the opportunity to speak Southern. Inside was a map of the United States, showing in very loose proximity the locations of various states, such as Cain-tucky and Tin-a-See with both states marked by whiskey stills. There was also the company’s guide to the medical profession titled “Friend or Enema.” The novelties were sold at roadside motels and restaurants.
The most popular items seemed to be matchbooks, such as the ones for Elmot Slugg, Candidate for Congress who was “hone$t,” or Last Chance Morticians. Mostof Tip N’ Twinkle’s matchbooks were for places. One matchbook advertised The Kremlin at One Salt Mine Drive in Moscow. “Let us start a war for you. Call us for chaos. Wars started anywhere. N. Khruschev, proprietor.” There was one for a nudist camp in Bare Skin, New Mexico. “Seamore by the Seashore. Fanny Brown, proprietor. Bared watchers welcome. See all of your neighbors.” Others included promotions for the Golden Naval Dance Hall, Mabel’s House of Ill Fame, Crazy Daze Sanatorium and “Alcatraz: A Convict Hilton Hotel.” These and more were often sold together and packaged in a box titled “Very Important Places Matches…for those who have been everywhere else.”
Among the Very Important Places collection was the matchbook “Buckingham Palace.” The front and back covers advertised the royal residence as if it were a hotel. “Where you’ll feel like a king…100 rooms, 100 baths. The original royal flush. Come see the real throne of England,” were the phrases on the front flap. The back side added more. “Buckingham Palace is just a few steps from the Thames River…do drop in. Visit the palace during the mating season, heir conditioned bedrooms. Once a king always a king, once a knight is enough.”
The Buckingham Palace matchbook had been in circulation for a couple of years before it came into the hands of the real palace, but when it did the royal family found no fun in the pun. It may have come to nothing, except for an article in the London Herald in December 1959 which reported that the Windsors were offended. John Sampson, New York correspondent for the Herald, was asked by his newspaper to investigate. Although Sampson had not seen the matches, he told the Roanoke World-News, “My paper indicated that they treated the royal family in a scurrilous manner.” According to Sampson, the Herald suspected someone mailed the matches to the Queen, though that would be proven later as false.
The incident gained attention locally in mid-December when WSLS-TV news reporter Jim Shell interviewed Clark about the matter. “I just can’t believe it. I think someone’s just pulling my leg on the whole situation,” said Clark, who did confirm he had been called by two London newspapers about the matter.
By late December, Clark’s matchbook was still making headlines, literally. “Could Roanoke Matches Be Rousing British Ire?” asked the Roanoke World-News in a Page 1 headline on December 31. The next morning the Roanoke Times titled its story “Roanoke Matches ‘Burn’ Royalty.” According to the Roanoke press, the London Herald had gone so far as to reach out to the U.S. State Department to see if any action would be taken. A State Department spokesman had said they would not unless there was a formal complaint from the British Embassy, which there was not. The British Embassy did confirm some days later in January 1960 that Buckingham Palace had given them the matchbook, but no formal complaint was planned.
In talking with Frank Hancock of the World-News, Clark remained ever the salesman. “If they don’t like the matches, we have some other products. One of the latest is called ‘Instant Nothing.’ It’s for the person who has everything,” Clark said with a laugh. Instant Nothing’s box mimicked those for instant oatmeal.
There is no record of Buckingham Palace placing an order.
The story above is from our September/October 2024 issue. For more stories like it, Subscribe Today. Thank you!
