Take a look at more great photos from our November/December 2013 cover story about the VT / UVA rivalry game, and send in your own favorite gameday photos for inclusion in our online gallery! (All photos by David Hungate unless credited otherwise.)
Dumb Jokes:
Know a dumb joke about your team’s arch rival? Add it to the comments below! Here are a few (dozen) to get you started!
Q: What’s the difference between the Wahoos and Frosted Flakes?
A: Sometimes you see Frosted Flakes in a bowl.
Q: Why don’t Hokies have ice on the sidelines during their games?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.
Q: Why doesn’t the UVA football team have a web site?
A: Because they can’t string three “Ws” together.
Q: How many Hokie Football Players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets four credits for it.
Q: Did you hear that Mike London was only dressing twenty-two players against Virginia Tech?
A: Yeah – he said the rest could dress themselves.
Q: Why did they have to cancel driver’s education classes at Virginia Tech?
A: The mule died.
Q: What is orange, Navy blue, 100 yards wide, and only has 2 teeth?
A: The front row at Scott stadium.
Q: What is Chicago maroon, burnt orange, 100 yards wide and full of smiles?
A: The front row at Scott stadium when they host the Hokies.
Q: What do you do when a Hokie tries to start an argument you?
A: Tell the Hokie that my mother always told me never to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
A: On the UVA campus – it’s the last place authorities would look for a football player.
Q: Did you hear the one about the Virginia Tech football player who was almost killed in a tragic horseback riding accident?
A: Yeah, he fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
Q: How do you keep the Wahoos out of your backyard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Q: Did you hear Virginia Tech’s Dining Services ranked #1 for college dining?
A: Yeah – maybe the football team should eat on campus more often.
So, a man in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, “Wanna hear a Virginia Tech joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Look, fella, I’m six feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m a Tech grad. The guy next to me is 6-2, 225, and he’s a Tech grad. The big dude next to him is 6-5, weighs 250, and he’s a Tech grad. You still wanna tell that joke?” The first man replies: “Not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times.”
Q: Did you hear the one about the Hokie and a Wahoo who were sitting at a bar watching the VT/UVA football game?
A: Yeah. The Hokie had brought his dog to the bar and asked the Wahoo to watch it while the Hokie went to the bathroom. The Hokie said “he’s an awesome dog. When VT scores he walks on his hind legs. When UVA scores he walks on his front legs. If VT wins the dog just bounces off the walls with excitement.” Then the W ahoo asked “what does he do if UVA wins?” The Hokie replied “I’m not sure. The dog is only 9 years old.”
Q: What’s something you will never hear a Virginia Tech fan say:
A: I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Q: How do you make Wahoo cookies?
A: Put them in a tiny bowl and pound for 3 hours.
Q: How do you confuse a Hokie?
A: Give a him a pack of M&M’s tell ’em to alphabetize them.
Q: How many UVA students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One – he just holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.
Q: What did the Va. Tech Hokie football team get on their SATs?
A: Drool.
Q: Did you know the Rolling Stones are playing at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville?
A: Yeah, I heard that they were 13-point favorites.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the VT campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why should the Cavaliers change their mascot to the Opossums?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What do a UVA student and a Virginia Tech student have in common?
A: They both got accepted to VT.
Q: How does a Wahoo fan count to 10?
A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4…
Q: What does a Virginia Tech fan do when the Hokies win the BCS National championship?
A: He turns off his Xbox.
Q: How does the dictionary define the word “Soft?”
A: “Easy to mold, cut, compress, or fold; not hard or firm to the touch.”
Q: How does ESPN radio personality Colin Cowherd define it?
A: “Under soft, they have a Cavaliers Football logo in the dictionary.” (True story).
Q: What did the Hokies say to the Wahoo?
A: Want any fries with that?
Q: Why do the Wahoo fans wear bow ties to football games?
A: Because they’re harder to hang yourself with than a neck tie.
Q: Why do the Hokies keep their Wonderlic results on their dash boards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Why was the Wahoo throwing etiquette to the wind and cussing up a storm at halftime?
A: Because he downed one too many imported bottles of Zima at the tailgate.
Q: What do you call a Hokie with half a brain?
A: Valedictorian.
Q: Did you hear the one about the Wahoo who used his iphone to take a photo of the Hoos hoisting the Commonwealth Cup?
A: Of course not – iphones didn’t exist in 2003.
Q: What do you do if you come across a Hokie buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Get more sand!
Q: How many UVA students does it take to take umbrage at this list of jokes?
A: Five. One to analyze the jokes, and the other four to argue their basic principles rooted in the “welcome to the University of Virginia brochure” given to freshman, who are convinced that Tommy Jefferson wrote the damn thing.
