Each of the families interviewed for our Raising Good Kids story is distinctly different from the others. Each family has its own set of challenges, goals, philosophies and approaches to creating good citizens out of children.
We asked each family to tell us how they do it, briefly, and here’s what they came up with.
(For our full feature on the families included, meet four great families here, and three more families here.)
Dara Hawkins
Always put God first and pray over your kids each and every day. Always make the children a priority, let them know you love them no matter what.
Reassure them you will be there to support them no matter how hard things get (teenage years are tough—you will make it through even though at times you don’t think you will) and never give up on them no matter how difficult it can be.
Hug your kids and tell them you love them each and every day. Teach your kids at a young age to say “yes, ma’am” and “no ma’am,” “please” and “thank you.” When taught manners at a young age it will stay with them a life time. It teaches them respect.”
And here is special advice on teenagers:
Remember you are not their friend. You are the parent. Be consistent: “no” means “no.”
If your children start something, make them finish it. It teaches them not to quit because it gets tough.
Teach them a good work ethic and value of a dollar. Give them chores to do around the house. When they reach the working age, make them get a job and pay for things on their own. They will appreciate thing a whole lot more if it is coming out of their pocket.
Andrea Midkiff
Remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way that you appreciate being treated. Be kind. Have good manners. Say “please,” and “thank you” to the people around you. Make eye contact with the people that you’re interacting with, and share your smile. Simple gestures of kindness and warmth are meaningful ways to communicate to others that they have value.
No cell phones or tablets during meal time with others. Sharing a meal with others is an opportunity to connect with them. Checking on, or playing games with your electronic devices signals to others that time with them is not valuable enough to retain your attention.
Have good communication with your kids. Nothing is taboo to talk to us about. If children have a question, we want them to feel comfortable in asking us. As adults, it’s easy to forget how tough growing up can be, and we, not the kids on the school bus, are responsible for guiding them.
Jennifer and Annie Harvey-Slusher
Practice age-appropriate honesty and communication. Have a sense of humor. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry. Be affectionate, physically and with words. If we say “I love you” once in a day, we say it a million times.
Apologize when we’re wrong. It is important for the children to know humility.
Laura Bradford
I love Community School’s ‘big one’ rule: Treat yourself, others, and the environment with care. We work to implement it at home, as well.
Let children be who they are. All of our children are very different and have different needs. I think they are born who they are, and my job is to listen to who they are and guide them.
Be global citizens. The world is getting smaller every day, and I believe that the more we connect, the kinder we will all be to each other.
Paul and Lisa Workman
(Paul): Practice adventure and fun (preferably outside). Allow children to do dangerous things safely. Instill a sense of humor and appreciation for a good prank. Take your kids camping, give them a knife and freedom to explore. There’s a time to be responsible. Do homework right away, set a reward system such as electronics time, for good work. Eat dinner together at the table with the TV and phones off limits. Be a good role model.
(Lisa): Talk with your kids. Start early so it becomes a habit for them. Over time, your kids will become more adept in good communication and they will come to enjoy these moments.
Talk to your kids. No topic should be off limits, and if you want to teach your kids values they need to hear what you think. This is a place that you may stumble as a parent. That’s okay. We’re not perfect.
We help the boys pursue their passions thoroughly. If something piques their interest, we will take it and run with it.
Carolyn Reilly
Give space and time for independent and family down-time. Don’t over-commit to extra curricular activities. Carve out time for each other as a family. Having time to relax and play develops creativity.
Say you’re sorry when you need to; acknowledge your mistakes as a parent with humility. Kids are usually fairly grace-filled and appreciate a genuine apology.
Have clear boundaries, but refrain from being a ‘helicopter’ parent. We have found that limiting screen time substantially gives our children the ability to think clearly and have healthy relationships. Get outside and enjoy natural beauty all around.
Taisha Steele
Make helpfulness and expressing gratitude a routine. Teach your children to see the big picture and to care about people who are socially, culturally, and even geographically outside their circles.
Spend regular time with your children and unplug from technology. Teach your children the value of education and goal setting.
