Editor’s Note: This piece was first published in our July/August 2018 issue. Read the Digital Daze piece here, or in our free digital archives.
Parents face tough decisions regarding their children. Setting boundaries, teaching rights and responsibilities, instilling values and guiding children as they learn to navigate life are part of being a parent.
Digital media adds another dimension where a parent has the same role but in new territory. Keeping up with the proliferation and how it affects children can be a challenge. Like most things, there are pros and cons to the vast array of available resources. Parents can help their children be good digital citizens and make thoughtful choices in their use of digital and social media.
What can parents do to help their children become responsible users of digital media?
- Create a family media plan outlining what works best for your family. Include a contract with your children’s input outlining which apps they can use, screen time limits, and what can be shared privately versus publicly.
- Delay giving children smartphones. A new campaign called Wait until 8th (waituntil8th.org) encourages parents to wait until 8th grade to give children a smartphone.
- Educate children on safe media use. No texting and driving. Check public and privacy settings and ensure children understand what types of content are appropriate for public verses private posting. Discuss sexting and pornography. Let them know that predators use apps to find victims.
- Be aware of which apps and media your children use. Most apps are designed for adults and have minimum age requirements, but teens sign up and misrepresent their age. Commonsensemedia.org lists sites that are popular with teens along with warnings about what types of exchanges take place and what the sites are used for primarily.
- Manually limit information shared by each app. Data collection takes place on all apps from games to coffee apps. Types of data collected can include contacts, pictures, web pages visited and location.
- Ensure that children understand they leave a digital footprint that never disappears. Even if something is removed, it can be found and shared.
- Discuss the effect of what they post on their reputation and future employment. What they find funny now may not be what they want a future boss to see. Consider how what they post affects others as well.
- Model the behavior you expect from your children. Don’t text and drive, limit your screen time, be fully present to your children and your friends and get consent before posting pictures or videos.
- Teach phone etiquette, including how to hold a real conversation, when and where to make calls and text (i.e. not in the middle of the night) and appropriate response times. Some teachers report getting texted over and over again in a matter of minutes by students who expect immediate responses.
- Use in moderation and balance with other activities. Have technology-free times like device-free dinners (see commonsensemedia.org for ideas) or planned family outings. Get outdoors together. Technology-free bedrooms help enforce digital-free times and bedtimes as well as give parents more control over what their children see. Consider timers on game systems and Wi-Fi.
- Promote media literacy. Ask your children which resources are reliable? Where do they get information? How do they know if it is real or fake news?
- Create a relationship with your children that encourages them coming to you for answers. Ask questions about what they are looking up, who they are texting, and what activities they find fun. Find out why they like the games they play. Be open to what they share so they don’t feel judged. Promote self-esteem and confidence.
For more information:
- If you suspect depression or anxiety, seek help. Ask your doctor for an assessment or use the self-screening at http://mharv.org/resources/mhascreening
- Commonsensemedia.org has studies and recommendations as well as ratings for movies, games, apps, tv shows and websites
- Aap.org (The American Academy of Pediatrics) has media tips and suggested screen times by age
- Roanokeprevention.org has a list of social media apps your children might be using
- “Bark” app monitors texts, emails and 24 social networks for potential safety concerns
